In an enmeshed relationship, the emotions of one partner are excessively intertwined with those of the other individual. This can lead to difficulty differentiating your emotions from those of your partner. It can also make it difficult to regulate your emotions, as they are so tightly connected to the other person. This type of unhealthy relationship often lacks clearly defined boundaries and can lead to other problems, such as codependency.
This can extend beyond romantic relationships to friendships, parent-child relationships, and other relationships within the family structure. In an enmeshed relationship, there is often a lack of independence, insecurity, and a need for validation from one of the parties. This can quickly cause them to become too dependent, creating an unhealthy relationship with no defined boundaries.
The Consequences of Enmeshment in Relationships
An enmeshed relationship can become a detriment to your mental health as you struggle to differentiate your feelings from those of your partner. This can cause anxiety and depression when one partner worries about their ability to meet the other’s expectations, as well as feelings of guilt and worthlessness. This can also lead to narcissistic behaviors in the partner who is idolized and placed on a pedestal. Both parties in enmeshed relationships struggle to find a healthy balance and differentiate their feelings from their partner’s. One of the partners will often begin to lose their identity, as their thoughts and feelings become so entrenched in how the other person thinks and feels.
What Causes Relationship Enmeshment
A common misunderstanding is that enmeshment comes from caring for one another. However, it is actually created by a lack of trust and security within the relationship. Relationship enmeshment typically originates from past trauma that can develop an unhealthy bond and dependency. This can also be caused by learned behaviors seen in families, as a lack of boundaries can be passed down from generation to generation.
How to Overcome Relationship Enmeshment
If you find yourself in an enmeshed relationship, it is essential that you make some changes to shift the dynamic. This is likely something that has developed over time, creating unhealthy habits. This will take some time to change as well. Once you have identified that it is a problem, you and your partner can try to set boundaries within the relationship. These boundaries should allow for time apart from one another, and the time to express your individuality. Scheduling time apart can go a long way to addressing this unhealthy relationship enmeshment.
It can also be helpful to engage a therapist or counselor to help you define boundaries within the relationship. The therapist can help you identify the problem and take the necessary steps to ensure that your relationship is healthy for everyone. If the enmeshment stems from trauma or insecurities, a therapist can work with one or both partners to overcome these feelings.
It is essential to find the right balance for being a couple while maintaining your individuality, giving your relationship the best chance of success.
