An intimacy disorder is when you are constantly struggling to establish a healthy bond with your partner, with past trauma often getting in the way. Those struggling with intimacy disorders often have a fear of getting too close emotionally or physically to another person. This fear can make it difficult, if not impossible, to move forward with a relationship. Many times, intimacy disorders are deep rooted in emotional trauma, whether experienced as a child or as an adult. Intimacy disorders can manifest themselves in the form of codependency, love addiction, and sex addiction, among other symptoms.
What Are Signs that You or Your Partners Has an Intimacy Disorder
The most common sign of an intimacy disorder is fear and anxiety when getting close to another person. The thought of physical closeness and intimacy, with a deeper emotional connection, can be enough to send someone with an intimacy disorder spiraling out of control. The symptoms can look very different in each individual but many of those suffering from an intimacy disorder struggle with low self esteem and the ability to trust others. This often stems back to the trauma that they experienced. Some individuals may avoid physical contact with others and have trouble forming lasting and committed relationships. They may struggle with a history of unhealthy relationships. While others suffering from intimacy disorders may have a high sex drive, choosing the physical contact over an emotional connection.
Causes of Intimacy Issues in Adulthood
Past trauma is one of the biggest causes of intimacy disorders. This may have been experienced as a child or an adult and can range from physical or sexual abuse to emotional neglect and substance abuse in the home. The result is an adult that may have a variety of intimacy struggles. Children that struggle to get attention from their parents may become adults that struggle with a fear of abandonment in their relationships. In other cases, the individual may use sex as an escape from the emotional aspect of relationships, finding it safer not to deal with their feelings.
If Left Untreated, Intimacy Disorders Can Have a Lasting and Negative Impact
Those who don’t address their intimacy concerns are at higher risk for developing a love addiction, feeling the constant need to seek out feelings of love even when misdirected. This may cause them to choose relationships that are not healthy, with a fixation on their partner. Sex addiction is also a common result of intimacy disorders. Those struggling with intimacy may choose physical contact over the baggage of their emotions. They may have many casual partners and engage in dangerous and risky sexual behaviors. Others struggling with intimacy may develop codependency in their relationships. This type of unbalanced relationship, where one partner is the giver to a detriment to themselves, is very unhealthy.
For someone struggling with intimacy disorders, it can be difficult to recognize the effects of your behavior. Many of those suffering do not even realize what a healthy relationship with their partner should look like. Through therapy, you can recognize these intimacy disorders and address any past trauma that has caused this type of behavior.
