By their nature, addictions are cyclical with the behavior repeating itself over and over again. A porn addiction is no exception to this. Problematic porn use has been proven to be cyclical in nature, following five stages in this repeating cycle. The first stage is triggers, often in the form of shame, anxiety, depression, or some other strong emotion. From there you may move onto the fantasy stage. In this stage of the problem porn use cycle, you may start idealizing about using porn in the past and how it made you feel, forgetting the negative feelings afterward. Acting out, or using porn, is the next stage. This is followed by numbing or denial, where you try to distance yourself emotionally from your actions. The final stage is despair, is often accompanied by emotions of shame, anxiety, or depression.
For those having a porn addiction, the cycle will repeat again from there, often intensifying through each repetition. To achieve the same feelings of ecstasy, the porn addict will likely need more of the same type or more intense pornography each time.
Strong Emotions Accompany the Cycle of Problem Porn Use
In the first stage of the cycle of porn use, triggers, strong emotions are most often the catalyst beginning the cycle each time. These can be in the form of emotional pain, psychological, or even have a physical element. These uncomfortable feelings may leave the porn addict with the desire to turn to pornography to relieve these feelings, even if temporary. From here, the brain will remind the affected person of the comfort that they have found from porn in the past. During this fantasy stage, these memories do not involve bad feelings, negative experiences, or consequences of this behavior.
During the acting out phase, when the addict turns to porn without regard for their actions, they will feel the escape and relief that this can momentarily offer. It is often described as the stage where the porn user is in a bubble or trance, losing themselves in the moment as they search and view pornography. Once they are done, they will likely distance themselves emotionally in the numbing stage. This is when they are denying their actions as a way to protect themselves from emotions of remorse.
The final stage is fraught with emotions, like the first. The denial has dissipated, and the porn addict is left with feelings of shame or remorse. These powerful feelings can leave feelings of depression and anxiety. From there the loop will continue, with these unmanaged feelings once more manifesting into the triggers stage of the cycle.
If left unchecked, the cycle of problem porn use will continue. The difference is that to achieve each stage the feelings and level of porn needed to achieve the desired high will increase each time. This can create a repetitive scenario, as well as a downward spiral for the porn addict.
Seeking professional help can give you the tools to break this cycle, managing your emotions and finding healthier outlets for these intense feelings.
