There are many strong and overwhelming feelings that go along with addiction recovery. Intense feelings of grief and loss over lost time, damaged relationships, and missed opportunities during active addiction are a normal part of the healing and recovery process. While these feelings of grief are different from what we often think of when we consider loss, they are no less powerful and should be recognized as such. In recovery, the addict realizes how their own life and those of loved ones around them have been impacted by their addiction. This comes with a powerful slew of emotions, including feelings of loss and sadness. To manage these feelings, without losing your sobriety, it is important to seek help and allow yourself to go through the stages of grief and loss in a healthy and cleansing manner.
Grief Over Lost Time
When an addict in recovery looks back at the time they were in active addiction, whether months, years or decades, they will likely feel a sense of loss over that time. Time was at a standstill during this drug or alcohol-filled era and there is nothing that can be done to regain this time. For some recovering addicts, this can hit in a very profound way as they consider what could have been done over that time instead. While it is important to feel these feelings, it is also important not to get lost in the sadness. Recognize that this time was lost, feeling the emotions associated with it. Once you have processed this fully, you can then let it go and move on to brighter days ahead.
Sadness for Damaged Relationships
In active addiction you likely did some serious damage to your relationships, some of which may be irreparable. It can be easy to get caught up in the sadness over the loss of these people in your life, whether family and friends or a romantic relationship. You can work to repair some of these relationships, regaining the trust of your loved ones, while others may be too damaged. Accepting this, feeling the grief that may go along with it, is important to accept the situation and move forward.
Loss Over Missed Opportunities
For those in active addiction the world stops, with priorities in life giving way to their addiction. Upon recovery, it isn’t unusual to look back upon this time and the missed opportunities that may have been available. Feeling loss and grief from this is not unusual. While sadness should not swallow you, it is okay to process these feelings in a healthy way.
Many recovering addicts will go through the five stages of grief during this process, almost as if a loved one had passed away. These steps include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. This is a good way to process these emotions, without allowing them to affect your sobriety. Taking the time to grieve the loss can help you to heal emotionally, making you a stronger person and solidifying relationships with those around you.
