Conflict for those is a relationship is unavoidable and can actually be healthy when processed properly.  The key is to practice healthy conflict resolution that will make you closer in your relationship.  It is important when engaged in a disagreement with your partner that you directly express your thoughts and feelings, doing so without blaming and accusations directed at the other person.  By conveying your feelings and thoughts clearly, you can have the best chance at a healthy resolution.  Your partner needs to then be given the opportunity to share their own feelings, without interruption.  Ensuring that you have an open line of communication, listening to one another, is key to healthy conflict resolution.

Be Sure to Listen to What Your Partner is Saying

One common mistake during arguments with a partner is not listening to what your partner is saying.  While you may not be speaking over them and are allowing them to speak their own feelings, if you are planning what you will say next then you are not listening.  Try to pay attention to their words as well as their body language.  By focusing your thoughts entirely on your partner, you will have a better chance of connecting with their feelings and understanding the reasoning behind them.  When it is your turn, do not hesitate to take a few seconds to think before you speak.  This will allow you the time to digest everything that they have said and respond in the most effective way.

Don’t Play the Blame Game

It can be easy to point fingers during an argument, blaming your partner for the situation.  Doing so can make them feel defensive and combative.  When one partner feels attacked, there is unlikely to be any form of healthy conflict resolution.  The end result may be both parties shouting insults at one another, only to have the argument end in silence, unresolved.

Avoid Revisiting Past Arguments

Arguments between couples have a way of spiraling, taking different directions as they progress.  It can be easy to bring up past arguments or disagreements as ammunition for your points.  However, assuming that these past disagreements were resolved you do not want to dredge up the past.  Your partner will likely feel attacked, becoming defensive and shut down.

Take Some Time If You Need It, But Be Sure to Ultimately Get Resolution

In the heat of the moment, you may need to step away to let your anger subside before you are ready to calmly communicate with your partner.  This is okay, but it is important that you ultimately resolve the conflict.  Too many couples sweep the disagreement under the rug, only to have it rear its ugly head in the future.  After some time to cool off and get your thoughts together, take an opportunity to sit down with your partner and discuss the argument.

By practicing positive conflict resolution with your partner, you can be sure that there won’t be any underlying resentment developing that could derail your relationship in the future.