When working on your relationship with your partner, whether in the early stages together or through healing from damage and distrust, it can help to understand the intimacy pyramid. The focus of the intimacy pyramid is on forming the base levels for your pyramid, working your way to the top and building up as the relationship grows and develops to a more intimate level. The base models of the pyramid, starting with honesty and safety, are critical to any relationship. Without these base characteristics, the relationship cannot fully develop and form an intimate bond that couples are looking to develop. As these stages are met, the relationship then travels upward to trust and vulnerability. Finally, at the top of the pyramid is the well-earned intimacy, a level that can only be fully reached when these other traits in the relationship have been established.

Building Intimacy Through the Levels of the Pyramid

The theory behind the intimacy pyramid is that a lasting relationship cannot be formed unless honesty and safety have already been earned. Once these feelings have formed and are solid in the relationship, the couple can begin to build towards their intimacy. These are both critical to any long-term relationship. Without honesty and safety, the relationship will not be able to be maintained in a happy and healthy way.

Once honesty and safety have been established, the relationship can then move up the pyramid with a focus on building trust and vulnerability. These traits are important to any relationship and without them, genuine intimacy cannot be achieved. After the trust and ability to be vulnerable with your partner have been established, along with the base levels of honesty and safety, you can then reach the top of the pyramid with your partner. This peak is when the true intimacy in your relationship can be achieved, all built on a strong base to hold this intimacy through the test of time.

What to Do If the Pyramid Is Damaged

A relationship is seldom linear and over time things can damage your intimacy level with your partner. It is important to remember that when both parties are willing to work on this, the damage can be identified and rebuilt over time. The intimacy pyramid is helpful in this respect as well. Actions like infidelity and secrets in the relationship can damage honesty and safety levels of the pyramid. When these are not in proper form, the entire pyramid will be affected. Through couples’ counseling and therapy, it is possible to work on rebuilding these levels of the pyramid back so that you can once again enjoy the highest level of intimacy in your relationship.

When One Piece of the Intimacy Pyramid is Missing

It isn’t a coincidence that this theory is in the form of a pyramid, with the largest and most important pieces forming the bottom of the structure. Only when all of these other characteristics have been developed can the couple reach the peak of intimacy. Once this is achieved, you can expect to have a healthy and loving relationship with your partner, which is the ultimate goal.